Bittersweet Beginnings
by Fallen.Debutante
Summary: Late-Night Betty/Kate Fic, set after 2x02, because there are so few out there I just needed to write my own. Spoiler alert, just to be safe. I haven't decided if I will continue or not. Rating might change.


Kate's mind was a jumbled mess of incoherent thoughts and unfinished scenarios. She wouldn't – no, she couldn't let the scenes play out in her mind. They made her feel dirty, disgusting, unnatural. And yet, Betty was lying right next to her; there was only an inch of space between them, and she hadn't even been the one to put it there. What would happen if she closed that gap? If she grabbed Betty's hand, or if she leaned over and – '_no'. _She would not have realized that she'd said the word aloud had Betty's breathing not quickened at the sound of it. Sure, the room was silent, but her thoughts were chaotic enough to drive anyone mad. Was Betty awake? What was she thinking? But there was only silence, and Kate decided that her friend must be asleep. Her mind wandered again, back to the place she'd been trying to lock up for weeks. The kiss. She exhaled – a long, breathy sigh, louder than she'd intended.

"What is it, Kate?" She turned her head to face Betty. They both looked so uncomfortable, lying stiffly on their backs, their arms by their sides.

"I can't sleep. Did I wake you?"

"No," Betty smiled, and took the risk of turning on her side to face the girl next to her. "What's on your mind?" she asked hesitantly.

Kate searched her brain for something, anything that didn't hint at what she'd really been thinking about, but it was no use. She was tired; it must have been nearly four in the morning, and she was not in the mindset to lie. Instead she remained silent.

Betty frowned. It was dark, and Kate was no longer looking at her anyway. If it made her so uncomfortable to share a bed, why had Kate suggested it? "Should I move back to the chair?" she asked.

"No!" Kate replied, and then silently cursed herself for her outburst. She could feel Betty's eyes on her, but couldn't bring herself to face the girl again. Those lips were too inviting. She sighed, and decided she couldn't take it anymore. She sprang out of bed, unsure of her next move, and began to pace. If this wasn't giving her away she knew that something else soon would; it was only a matter of time.

Betty sat up. She couldn't bring herself to ask again what it was that was bothering her friend. _Friend. What an ugly word, _she thought. She sat and witnessed Kate's pacing become more frantic, the look on her face growing from concerned to frightened to on the verge of tears, and decided she couldn't just sit there and watch. Slowly, she approached Kate and tried to still her, but she pulled away and averted her eyes. It reminded her of the night…

"Do you really find me that disgusting?" Betty exclaimed. As it dawned on her how forceful she'd been, she drew her hands to her mouth, ashamed of her selfish loss of composure and any guilt she must have caused on Kate's part.

"Betty, no, I-" she began, but was interrupted by her tears. Kate tried to compose herself, but in that moment, in the dark, with Betty so close to her, she knew what she needed. She couldn't deny it anymore. She fought back sobs as she used every bit of free will she could find to grab Betty's hands, freeing her mouth so that their desperate lips could meet. Kate closed her eyes so that she could bask in the feeling she'd wanted to relive ever since the night she'd cut it short all those weeks ago. For a moment, it was perfect; she felt Betty's lips smiling in harmony with her own as she frantically slid her fingers through those less-than-perfect blonde curls, wanting to absorb every wonderful inch of the girl in front of her. But her mind turned to her father's face – to his disapproving stare, and to the feeling of his belt across her back and she pulled away, collapsing to the floor in a sobbing heap.

"Kate, I'm so sorry. I…" What else could she possibly say? "I'm so sorry." She felt tears come to her own eyes as she witnessed Kate's struggle. Betty was torn, unsure of how to comfort her without making matters worse. But as she caressed her back, Kate's sobs slowly began to subside.

"It's not you, Betty." She said after a few minutes. "You're… you're perfect. But I can't do this."

"I know," she replied, cautiously taking the girl she loved into her arms. She wondered if she should hope that maybe one day, Kate would change her mind.


End file.
